AIYA.

I will be changing blog AGAIN.

Sorry, fellas.

Cuz I don't like the look of this blog. So blue in the face and dead.

Holy.

Thanks, y'alls.
Ask me for the new url.

Anw EOYS are round the corner so it's high time I shut the blog down.

Y3:12 AM

Hey you guys.

Don't get hurt over seeing me like this.

I'm doing fine, I really am.

My gosh, these days there are so many things to prepare and all that and so many deadlines to meet. Which reminds me of a quote I once heard before:

'I love deadlines. I love the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.'

:D

I know. I'm really doing better, guys. No more I-want-to-end-my-life jibes anymore.

Helped Mau, Daren, Bryan and Sean film today.

The last time I ever filmed with them! I'll never see them again aft tonight. Ahhh. I'll raelly miss them. Even though I just got to know the guys they're really sweet and I really enjoyed all their gay jokes. Really looking forward to Year 3. I hope it'll be better.

Yes, Raey, all your smses are not in vain! Fresh new start in 2009!

Dawn, Yanwen and Char, I know it really hurts you to read my posts sometimes. I swear I'm trying really hard to acknowledge the love. Thank you all so much.

Cheryl YES I'LL LINK(:

Everybody else, thanks for tagging. It really means a lot.

OMG Teachers' Day's coming up and 6A we are having an outing to the Bedok Mac you HEAR?

And see Ms Chua too!(:

and yeah my class movie theme is STEP UP 2 :D :D :D

Thanks, Sha, for helping me choose the outfit.

And I can't waitttt to se everyone in their bling this Fri!

But right now gotta chiong my Sci reflections and flunk chengyu tmr. Darn.

You think I could hand up my Sci File one day late...? :x

Y7:50 AM

Wheee.
EDS Drama Practice now.
I really can't be bothered to blog about my life anymore.
Can I ask? What is life's purpose?
I don't see any reason for me to go on waking up every morning and dragging myself to school just to get my ass-existence battered to a pulp every miserable day.
I have no friends. I only have myself and my family and they're not with me half the day.
I thought I had people who cared for me. Maybe I just don't deserve the lot.
The people I trusted and cared for, the people I thought I could lean on, all have turned against me and every waking moment I wonder if it's my fault.
Maybe you heard it from other people. Maybe all the rumors portrayed me as bitchy, or backstabbing or ruthless or cold, or without a soul.
But why don't you give me a chance to explain myself?
Why won't you give me a chance to make amends?
Why won't you give me a chance to apologize? I ask for your forgiveness only. That's all.
Not your friendship anymore, because I know we're too screwed to ever go back to the way we were before. It hurts a hundredfold more than what happened, because now the whole class has turned against me.


Had a Dove body talk today.
I never realized that Barbie was that disproportionate. :x

Y1:34 AM

I resent this. Resent.

I resent my life, but I have to keep on living it.

What's the point, really?

Jeez.

Can't wait for Mr Yeo to be back.

Can't wait for my life to start making sense,.

Dawn Seow you are so dead when Sha and I get our hands on you.

Y8:36 AM

IT class now.

I'm getting to be more unpopular in Hydrus every day. This week has been a drag.

Everyday it hurts but thanks to Uncle John I'll get to the bottom of the mystery of my dad.

Somehow.

Wow, I feel like Nancy Drew, XD.

These days I'm not talking to the guys, the people I always hang out with.

It feels like some limbo world, just flitting here and there, hanging around different people but always ending up on my own in the end.

And even though.. the loner life is cool, I just want to apologize.

Some of you guys don't know exactly what's been going on with me this past week.

I want to promise you guys that I will tell you what's going on, but I can't promise anyone anything because I've been a promise breaker all my life, just like with Justinn and Alvin and my dad.

I've done something that I don't regret but hurts me alot.

You guys don't know anything, because it concerns not just all of you in Hydrus but also all the people I've ever met and loved in my life.

I just want to say I'm sorry.

I thought I loved my class; maybe it's unrequited, now I think about it.

I miss you guys, Dawn and Sha. But I know you guys have your own lives. I also know deep inside my heart that I'm also a part of your lives. Please don't worry about me.

I guess I just need to learn to judge people better.

Went to see a gynae ytd.

Everyone was staring at me like, 'OMG why else would a 14yearold come to see a gynae?' and I could practically hear the gears in their brain clicking away.

Lol. I'm fine, not pregnant, at any rate.

Can't wait for Mr Yeo to be back.

It's 5 weeks to the end of Term 3.

Pressure is mounting. I feel the heat.

A friendship with yourself is worth more than a thousand friendships with the world.

I know that people may be thinking, 'Oh, she's finally showing her true colors.'

But what else am I to do, hide them and suffer inside?

I was grateful for you all once for pulling me to my feet after I fell.

But now you've turned your backs on me and are laughing at me at a distance with the person who pushed me down.

I can't believe I trusted you all again, so willingly, like a fool.

I've never felt so alone in my life,

but I guess the road to self-acceptance is one rarely travelled.

These days Mom wants me to look more at all the photographs of me and Dad.

I don't know what it will trigger.

I feel like a detective on her first mystery, so out of her depth and trying to figure out what's going on.

I'm a Nancy Drew trying to figure out the truth about her past, why she hurts everyone she loves and all this, at the cost of being able to love right.

I don't want to hurt anyone.

Justinn:

You've been like a brother to me, and if not a close friend, then a friend nonetheless.

I'm sorry.

I've hurt you very badly, and what's happening now is the result of what I did - rejecting everything that you've been trying to do.

I admit that I don't know you at all now, I never did.

I'm sorry for not being able to.

I'm sorry for everything, dude.

You deserve someone who won't hurt you like I did.

I warned you about what happened to Alvin, and I'm sorry for it happening to you.

I'm sorry.

Maybe ten years down the road..

Y7:15 PM

Lol.

Posting from Weiheng's house now.

Only WH, Toon and I are here..

The silence is pretty uncomfortable but it can't touch me now, I promise.

Anyway, even though I'm shaking with fear on the inside.. I'll be strong.

Gotta finish my homework and excel in my studies all the way, and I'll show the world that much.

Have to get started on the Chinese script soon, but I'l just post about today, since you guys are like pestering me and all that.

(:

Uh well, I sprained my foot. I think.

It hurts when I go on demi-pointe.

I was doing poses during ballet class yesterday and suddenly something in my left foot shifted and I heard a crack and it started hurting.

Today, I went for ballet to watch them and it was torture.

Not being able to move my body in tandem with the rest of them.

Oh god, anything for this foot to heal.

It was so UNFAIR.

They did new stuff, like attitude turns and pose turns from the corner and soutenues? (is that how you spell it?)

It was so UNFAIRRRRR. Ohmygods.

Been feeling alot better since the turning point.

I'm finally safe.

Nothing can touch me anymore.

Don't worry, guys, if you don't get what I mean.

I'm fine.

Y11:35 PM

Hey you guys.

Welcome(:

Uh I won't go into lengthy intros.. In fact, I won't go into any at all?

So.. yeah. Try to keep up. (:

I LOVE BCHS(:

Y6:35 AM